The Rainbow and the Rain--Pregnancy After Miscarriage

I've started writing this post a dozen times, but I keep putting it off.  Writing is a good outlet for me.  It helps me "talk about" things that are on my heart that I would have trouble expressing in person to someone.  And the whole miscarriage thing is awkward to bring up.  Other people don't want to bring it up because they're afraid they're bringing up something you might be uncomfortable talking about or that they'll make you cry.  And you, as the one who's been through it, sometimes assume that everyone around you is done hearing about it and you hesitate to bring it up again--if you even had the nerve to bring it up in the first place.

Today was a much needed reminder that I'm not alone in this.  That people haven't forgotten our loss.  That people still think my grief is valid.  And I needed that.

My sweet, sweet friend gave me this at church today.  Well, not this exact one...mine has four turquoise beads and one pearl.  The four turquoise beads represent our living babies, and the white pearl represents our little one in heaven.  It's so perfect.

The card with it said this:

Stacy,

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'll never have the right words to say so I hope this gift shows you how much I think about you and pray for you.  Even if you don't wear this, I hope you can enjoy it in some way to celebrate all your sweet babies, both here and in heaven.  There is a special place in our hearts for you all and your kiddos!  We love you!

And I cried, of course.

Pregnancy after miscarriage is definitely different.  I was never really concerned about miscarriage before I had one, but the fear definitely loomed through most of the first trimester.  I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant again (in the bathroom at Target!), but the excitement quickly turned into anxiety as we got closer and closer to my first appointment.  I dreaded walking into that office.  I dreaded being taken back to an ultrasound room where I might get bad news.

There was a definite emotional battle off and on throughout the entire pregnancy.  It took me until after our 20 week ultrasound before I felt comfortable going to appointments without Kraig.  Even then it was hard, but by then I could feel that he was alive in me.  The rest of the second trimester and most of the third were much less anxiety-filled, but my emotions have definitely been on high alert lately.  

This last trimester and the quickly approaching birth has brought up a lot of the pain and anxiety all over again.  The fear of this one not making it either.  The fear of the emotions of labor and delivery, as I will inevitably remember the baby that we lost and the hospital experience of my D&C.  The guilty feelings of being happy about the baby that will soon be here.  There are a thousand feelings, really.  

My friend was definitely following the Lord's leading to gift me with this right now.  I don't even think I was aware of how much I needed that reminder that the life that is gone was precious and has not been forgotten.  I needed that reminder that I'm not alone.

Having a reminder of all 5 of my kids on this necklace is perfect.  It's a way to carry them all with me, and it creates an opportunity to share my story if anyone should ask.  And I'm so very thankful for that.  The silence does no one any good.

If you're in my shoes, know that these feelings are normal.  I pray that you'll have someone who will show you that your loss isn't forgotten--that your pain is still very real and recognized.

If you're a friend of someone who's in my shoes (pregnant or not), don't be afraid to reach out.  I'm sure it's awkward.  It's definitely something that's so terribly hard to understand if you've never been through it, but just acknowledging someone's loss can mean the world to someone like me. And it doesn't have to be in the form of a gift.  A simple card or even a text can mean a lot!

I'm very thankful my awesome friend didn't let the awkwardness get in the way of her ministering to me.  And ministering to me is exactly what she did.  :)

Hoping my next post is a birth announcement!!

**These beautiful necklaces 
and other similar jewelry can be found at www.rachelle-isms.com 
She has a lovely Etsy shop.  The card that came with the necklace says, "Miscarriage is a silent pain. My hope is that each nest encourages mothers to share their stories and heal."  My feelings exactly!**

For more posts about miscarriage, check out the My Miscarriage Journey page for all my posts.  

Because Hope Grows

Everyone has a different timeline for their grief.  We certainly are not "over" the loss of our baby, but we did decide we were ready to try again.

And it worked.

Very quickly.

So quickly that it was hard to even begin to process.

But seeing God's hand in this so far has been pretty astonishing.

For the whole week before we found out, Jackson kept telling me, "Mommy, I told God to put another baby in your belly and He did. There's a baby boy in there right now. And I asked Him not to take this one away."

And I'll admit it--the first time he said it, I had to sneak away and cry.

But he just kept talking about it.

After a week, I realized that maybe he was right.

I secretly bought a pack of tests and took one.  It was faintly positive.  I couldn't believe it.  So I waited four hours and took another.  Then another in the morning.

Then the next night, I made an excuse to take a trip to Target after the kids were in bed.  Bought a digital test this time. And there, in my favorite bathroom stall at Target, the test read "Pregnant."

It could not be denied.

So I snapped a quick pic and went to the van, where I sat and bawled.  It was like a sense of relief almost, knowing that I could conceive again.

Finally feeling confident, I came home and told Kraig, who was equally surprised at how quickly I happened.

Good to know Jack was right! For over two weeks, the kids were insistent that I'm pregnant and making all sorts of comments.  It was fun to finally tell them last week.

I guess between this being my 5th pregnancy and having been pregnant so recently, my body is just trained to look pregnant.  Had to get out maternity pants two days ago.  There's no hiding it anymore. Kate actually looked at my belly earlier this week and said, "Is there something you're not telling us?" 

Oh my.

So here we are.  I'm due June 9th, which is also our 9th anniversary and the day before we found out we were expecting this past year.  Seems like such sweet timing.

Sure, there is some fear involved in being pregnant again, but there is also joy and excitement and hope.

I'm positive someone is reading this thinking, "Didn't they learn their lesson last time about announcing so early?"

And the answer is a resounding YES! We learned, for sure.

We learned that had we not told, we wouldn't have had the time to celebrate the pregnancy we had nor the amount of support we had when we experienced the loss.

And, yes, there is always a possibility that we will lose this baby, too.

More than anything, though, I know that IF that would happen, I would need people to know.  I would need the support again.  I truly believe that not mourning privately helped validate my loss and helped me to grieve.

But for now, we rejoice because hope is growing in my heart and in my womb.  And a life should be celebrated.

Unexpected Sorrow

I don't know how to even begin a post like this.  Still trying to wrap my mind around what I'm about to write.

On Wednesday, July 29th, during a routine ultrasound, it was discovered that our sweet baby #4 had stopped growing two weeks before.  I came to the appointment alone.  After three perfect pregnancies, I didn't have any concerns about the appointment.  My belly was in full pregnancy mode.  I had regular morning sickness for the first time ever.  Everything seemed to be going as expected.

As I sat in the ultrasound room alone, however, I knew there was something wrong. The tech barely spoke a word as she took some quick measurements.  A first time mom might not have known what was going on, but I watched as she searched for a heartbeat and scanned for circulation.  The baby stayed dark--no color, no signs of life.  She quickly left the room to go get the midwife, but she was unavailable, so I was taken to a small, private waiting room to sit alone.  I may have only waited for a few minutes, but it felt like an hour.  My face was hot, my gut wrenched with fear.  I knew that my baby was gone.  It made no sense.  It still makes no sense, but I knew.

Finally, the nurse came and took me to an exam room.  She didn't take my weight, blood pressure or any of the normal things--further confirmation to me that I was right.  When the midwife came in, she sat down and just said it.  I'll never forget her words or the look of pity on her face.  "Stacy, your baby isn't alive." I melted into tears  I'm sure my sobs were heard outside the exam room.  I went from fear to unbelievable, agonizing pain just like that.  I never dreamed that this would happen to me.

I sat and cried with the midwife, talking about what might have happened and what need to happen next.  She was wonderful to hug me and do her best to comfort me, but I was inconsolable.  I knew I was devastated,  and knowing I was going to have to be the one to tell Kraig and the kids made it even worse.

Eventually, I gathered myself to quickly escape from the office.  I dialed Kraig as soon as I got to the hall and, through sobs, I told him our baby was dead.  I'll never forget his response and the minutes of crying we did together on the phone, as I sat in the stairwell of the hospital.  I could barely breathe.  We talked while I made my way to the van, then I sat and cried until I felt like I could drive.

When I got home, Kraig met me outside and we hugged and sobbed together.  Eventually, we calmed ourselves down and went inside to tell the kids that our baby wasn't coming anymore but had gone to Heaven to be with Jesus.  Kate and Jack both cried and cried for so long.  Jack just kept saying, "But I really wanted a baby brother to sleep in my room with me!"  It was awful in so many ways.  I can't even come up with words to adequately describe the pain of telling them and watching them mourn.

I never imagined the pain of miscarriage would be so hard.  So real.  But it is.  We lost a child.  We have a precious baby that we never got to hold, or see, or kiss.  Our baby never got to experience the deep love that we already had for him/her.  And it hurts so bad. 

My body hadn't begun to miscarry on it's own, so on Friday, we went to the hospital for a D&C.  I knew my baby was gone, but it felt like I was going to the hospital to have an abortion.  Like I was letting them take my baby from me.  I knew it was irrational, but that's how it felt.  This procedure was literally removing the pregnancy from me, so it was hard to separate the two.  I was so scared going in for it.  It felt completely unfair to wake up with morning sickness that day, knowing there was no little life causing it.

Registration was surprisingly quick and painless.  Then a sweet lady we go to church with came to take me back to get changed and settled into pre-op.  She was so helpful and sensitive to the situation.  One of my biggest fears about the procedure was that I would just be treated like another patient having another procedure, but I wasn't.

In a moment alone before they brought Kraig back to sit with me, I cried by myself and told the baby goodbye.  I know that he/she couldn't hear me, but I felt like I needed to say my goodbyes and tell the baby how much we loved him/her. It all just felt so wrong to know that I was going to be leaving the hospital empty handed.  There wasn't going to be a sweet newborn.  There wouldn't even be a body to hold or to bury, I would just be empty.  So I told my baby goodbye while he/she was still with me.

I had never met the doctor before, but when he came in he first took the time to ask me how I was doing. Until then, I'd held it together, but I cried--partially because I was sad, and partially because I was thankful that he cared enough to ask.

I was grateful to have Kraig with me for most of the pre-op time.  It was comforting to hold his hand and not feel so alone.  Before it was time to go, he prayed over me and we both cried.  It was a very special moment for me, as a wife, but it all just felt so very unfair.  Soon enough, they wheeled me to the operating room and I was asleep.

When I woke up, my sweet nurse was with me.  I was fairly alert, so we talked and she asked me how other people were treating me and if people were being sensitive.  She then shared that the surgical nurses had watched a video about a year ago on how to deal with patients going through a miscarriage. She said, "I sobbed through the whole thing, because I know I've said all the wrong things to people for years." We sat and cried together and talked until I was ready to be discharged.  She was a true blessing in that situation, as she let me open up with her about how I was feeling.  I actually bought a thank-you card last night to send to her.  She was exactly the nurse that I needed.

It's been a long week and a half.  I've lost people that I've been close to and felt that pain, but I've never experienced anything like this before.  The tears come in waves, but not a moment goes by when I'm not thinking about what we lost.

We told our family and our church family pretty quickly after we found out what was going on, and it's been wonderful to have their prayers and support.  People have been gracious to give us space, but to also surround us with prayers.  We've been extremely grateful for the texts, phone calls, cards, meals and words that you all have offered.  I am especially grateful to my mom, who came and spent a week with us--caring for the kids, especially, so that I could rest and heal and so that Kraig and I could have some time to grieve together.  I couldn't have done it without her.

It's amazing to me how many women have come forward to share their own miscarriage stories with me.  In a strange way, it's been helpful to hear them and to know that I'm not alone.  To know that my feelings aren't irrational.  Thank you to those who have shared with me.  I am so deeply sorry that you've had to bear this burden, too.

I know that things will get easier eventually and I know that God has a purpose and a plan, but right now things are still very tender and difficult.  I can't yet see how things are going to get better, but I'm trusting that my faithful God will get me there.  All I know now is that I miss my baby with this terrible, fierce ache.  It's also terribly painful to look in the mirror and still have a swollen abdomen that looks like it's carrying a baby. Some things will never make sense, I guess.

We could all use your prayers as we grieve this loss.  The Bible says we should mourn with those who mourn, and weep with those who weep.  Friends, we thank you for doing that with us.  It makes it just a little easier to bear.

Upcoming Series!

I've finally been inspired to write another series of posts. The "The Things They Don't Tell You" series about pregnancy was a big hit, so we're going to stay in the same vein. The new series, "The Things They Don't Tell You About Caring for an Infant" will begin soon--hopefully Friday! Now that I've had two to compare, I feel like I have plenty to share. Plus, I have a ton of friends who are expecting or have recently had their first babies. Hopefully my experience and perspective will help make their experience a little easier.

If you have any advice you'd like to have included in the posts, feel free to contact me through the blog or email me at stacybishop07 at gmail dot com. (No, you don't need to spell it out like that!)

See you all on Friday!

Pregnant? Read this:

I'm not pregnant, but it seems there are tons of ladies who are right now. During my last pregnancy, I wrote a rather lengthy series of posts called "The Things They Don't Tell You." Here's the original post and links to the others. Anything you'd like to add?

Things They Don't Tell You, part 1

Pregnancy is full of surprises for most people. Even if you read all the pregnancy related books out there, you're likely to experience something that you never read and you never heard your girlfriends talk about. Here's a few of the "things" that I've heard that can come as a surprise to pregnant ladies about the earlier parts of pregnancy:

1) All pregnant women do not get morning sickness. I've recently read statistics that said around 80% of women do, but not all. For some people, morning sickness lasts a few weeks. For others, it can last the entire pregnancy.

2) "Morning sickness" is not necessarily just a morning problem. There are plenty of women who are sick all day long or find themselves sick in the evenings. Don't let the "morning" part fool you.

3) Just because you're pregnant does not mean you can eat anything and everything. Yes, you will be hungrier than usual, but for a single pregnancy only an additional 300 calories are needed per day. That's like a yogurt and half a bagel.

4) While some women may appear "glowing" during pregnancy, others suffer from a variety of skin problems during pregnancy--teenage-like acne included.

5) Sleep will become increasingly difficult as you learn to not sleep on your back or stomach and your body becomes larger. My hips, in particular, become painful during pregnancy and make sleep difficult.

6) Though you are excited because your pregnancy test came back positive, your doctor may not want to see you for several weeks or more. With my first pregnancy, I did not see the doctor for the first time until 13 weeks. With my second, I was almost 8 weeks. This is not unusual, but it will definitely test your patience.

7) Your belly will mostly likely start to look a little fat before it starts to actually look like you're pregnant.

8) Your first ultrasound, if performed at an early appointment, will be mostly likely performed vaginally. I was completely surprised about during my first pregnancy.

9) At a typical OB/GYN office, you can literally wait for hours. This is a very sensitive practice. Doctors do everything in appointments from routine check-ups, ultrasounds and pap smears, to having to tell a woman she has cancer or may have lost her baby. These appointments take time. If you were in a sensitive situation, you would want the doctor to take as much time with you and not rush off. Remember this when you're looking at your clock, realizing your appointment should have started 45 minutes ago. It's also possible that another patient went into labor and your OB is at the hospital delivering a baby. You'd want him there if it were you! But be prepared!! Snacks and reading material are always helpful.

10) It's okay to feel like a basket case. Your hormones are crazy right now and you're adjusting to the knowledge that you're carrying a baby. It's a very emotional time. And it's very normal!

The Things They Don't Tell You, Part 2

The Things They Don't Tell You, Part 3

The Things They Don't Tell You, Part 4

The Things They Don't Tell You, the FINAL part

Enjoy!!

Quick update

I had my 35 week appointment yesterday. On Thursdays, I now go to the office for a NST and a regular appointment. The NST went well. Jackson was cooperative for once. The doctor was concerned that I'm still having so many contractions since the accident, so she checked my cervix again. I'm still not dilated at all, surprisingly, but it's apparently very soft. That's a good sign that labor is coming, but not necessarily of when. She decided to do a quick ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid levels. She discovered that I'm quite blessed with amniotic fluid. Funny way to put it, but that's what she said. Jackson is definitely head-down, though, which is great. Everything is looking great. I've still only gained 3 pounds overall. I'm hoping that after he's born, I'll drop the normal amount of weight and end up weighing a good fifteen or more pounds less than I did when I got pregnant. That would be fabulous! My blood pressure is still good. Diabetes is well controlled. Because of everything else, though, the doctor acted like she was really hoping that I'd make it to 37 weeks, but she didn't sound very hopeful. They can say that all they want, but there's no good way to know. Regardless, I'm glad I've kicked it into high gear to get stuff done around the house. Guess I should pack my hospital bags!

They're trying to put me in a bubble...

So last week I blogged about my fall. Well, just as my leg was finally starting to not be the most painful thing ever, I had another little accident. Seriously.

Last Friday, Kraig had the day off. We didn't do much in the morning, but when Kate went down for her nap I ran to town. I was just going to drop Kraig's check at the bank, so I didn't even bother to shower. After finishing up at the bank, though, I decided to run to Target. We had a friend at the hospital in labor and I had a joint baby shower on Saturday (for me and another friend), so I needed some gifts. Not long after I got into the store, a huge storm started up outside. It was so loud even from the inside that you could barely hear yourself think. I finished my shopping and decided to walk around more and hope that the storm would let up if I killed some time. Finally, I'd had enough. It was still raining, but I was ready to go home. My leg was sore from the walking and I was done. I checked out and ran to the car. I happened to have Kraig's car at the time. I threw the bags in the passenger seat and attempted to get in the driver's side. The person beside me was so close that it was a struggle to get my ever-growing belly inside without damaging both vehicles. But I managed.

I left the parking lot and headed home. As I neared the area where we lost our piano during the move, someone in front of me made a last minute decision to turn and came to a very quick stop. No turn signal. I managed to get stopped in plenty of time, but I could see in my rear view mirror that the car behind me wasn't slowing down. Right about the time that the car in front of me turned, the car behind me hit me. I was shocked. I saw it coming, but it was still shocking. I put my car in park and sat there for a few seconds, shaking uncontrollably. The driver of the other car got out to see if I was okay, and we decided to pull off the road into a nearby parking lot. As far as I could tell, I was okay. I didn't recall any of my body parts making direct contact with the steering wheel or anything else. The other driver was okay. His car looked awful, but he was okay. Kraig's bumper is pretty messed up, but that's what insurance is for! I called Kraig when I got into the parking lot to tell him and I also told him that he couldn't come help. I had the keys for both vehicles with me for whatever reason. He called Josh, one of the minister's at our church, and he came over to make sure I was okay and that the situation got handled right. The other guy called the cops. Kraig called my doctor. The cops came eventually and handled the situation. The doctor told me to head to the hospital. I was already having contractions from the accident or the stress of the situation, so I figured it was probably best.

I got to the ER around 4 p.m., after stopping at McDonald's for a snack. I was hungry! I sat for probably 20 minutes before they called me back. The doctor checked my neck and back and they performed and ultrasound before sending me to labor and delivery. The ultrasound looked good--no tearing or damage was detected. Once at labor and delivery, they hooked me up to the monitors where I had to stay for four hours. I was having consistent contractions every 4-6 minutes. They weren't the most painful things ever, but it was a little scary. Half way through the four hours, they checked my cervix. Fortunately, the contractions weren't causing any dilation. Because of this, they finally let me eat dinner. At this point it was like 8:30 and I was beyond hungry. I sat for another two hours and they checked my cervix again before releasing me. The "doctor" on call from my practice was the midwife that I was originally seeing. I love her, so I was very glad she was there. She offered to let me spend the night there since I was still contracting, or she could send me home with a sleeping pill. I opted to go home.

The sleeping pill didn't help much. The next day, I continued to contract. It was exhausting. Once the evening rolled around, they started getting closer together and more painful. I laid down. I drank more water. I got up and cleaned the bathrooms. Nothing was making them let up. Finally, about 10:30, I decided I needed to head back to the hospital. At this point, the contractions were every 2-4 minutes and they were lasting at least a minute each. I had one that lasted four and a half minutes. Didn't know that was possible. I called Sara to come stay with Kate, who was already in bed. Once Sara arrived, we headed out. We got to the hospital a little after 11 on Saturday night. The same nurse and midwife from the day before were there, so it was nice to not have to explain myself again. They checked my cervix again. It was soft, but not dilated. They hooked me up to the machines for another two hours, and the contractions finally started to slow down. By the time we left, they were coming about every 10-12 minutes. Much better! Over the past few days, I've continued to contract, but so far they don't seem to be doing anything. I have an appointment tomorrow for an NST and they'll check my cervix again then. Yay.

I really don't think Jack's going to hang out in here much longer. Kraig's hoping to make it through a week of camp when I'm 37 weeks, but we'll see! At this point, I'm 35 weeks 2 days. We'll see how far we get!

Oh the drama!

I found out yesterday that I failed my glucose test. The lady from my OB's office called to tell me I had gestational diabetes. Wasn't expecting that. I have four prescriptions I need to pick up at the pharmacy for testing supplies and I have a four hour gestational diabetes management class on Tuesday. On top of it all, because of the "complication," I can no longer see my midwife. I have to see one of the other doctors in the practice. It's a little disappointing to get through 2/3 of your pregnancy and suddenly have someone different to see. Oh well. Out of my hands.

I had an ultrasound this morning, since I'm measuring large. And large he is! I'm 27 weeks, 3 days today, but he's measuring at 30 weeks, 3 days. I'm sure it has to do with the gestational diabetes issue, but I'm not sure what all it means in terms of due date and delivery. I don't actually get to see the doctor until Monday. IF they moved my due date up three weeks, I'd be due on Kate's due date. If I had him at the "new" 37 weeks, that would be 6 1/2 weeks from now. Surely that's not how it's going to work out, but holy cow. He'll be here before we know it!

I was pretty upset about the diagnosis yesterday, but I'm feeling better today. I know that it's going to be well monitored and controlled, which is the best thing for me and Jackson. I'm not thrilled about poking myself multiple times a day, but I know it's what's best. I'll still have a healthy baby and rest of my pregnancy as long as I take this seriously and get it under control. No biggie. Plenty of people have dealt with this. I'm just ready to have my class so I can really understand a little more about it and get the process rolling. Right now, I feel like I'm in the dark.

Oh yes, and Jack weighs approximately 3lbs 6 oz. That's all the more weight I've gained this pregnancy. Pretty crazy!

In other news, I get my "new" cloth diapers today! Pictures coming!

So much to write about...

It has been a very eventful two weeks! On Thursday, April 14th, we closed on our first home. That afternoon we made a few trips to the new house with our car and a borrowed truck. Friday was the biggest move day. We did a few trips on our own during the morning and early afternoon. The help started to arrive around 5:00 and we loaded up our car, another car and three trucks for our first load. As we were driving between the houses, we realized it was looking like rain. We decided to make another quick trip and worry about dinner later. So we drove back and loaded up.

One of the first things loaded in the second trip was my piano. I had two couches in the back of my truck and another truck had the large entertainment center. We headed back in caravan style, with me bringing up the rear, following our friend Todd. About two miles down the road, I noticed the bungee cords holding the mattresses in next to the piano were starting to slip. The wind had picked up significantly, and it was making our memory foam mattress move like paper. So I called Todd and told him that we should pull over and adjust the straps. We slowed down and turned right, into a parking lot. As Todd's truck turns, the piano falls off of the side of the truck and lands with a roar in the parking lot, in the outgoing turn lane. I watched the whole thing happen and was totally speechless. I pulled my truck around to block the debris from traffic and called Kraig to come back. Tyler and Josh were in the third truck that was just ahead of Todd and they heard the noise and turned back. Luckily, there were some teens walking through the parking lot that helped Todd get it out of the roadway. We were all speechless. We took pictures and loaded it back in the truck in all it's many pieces. It's now in the landfill. It was sad. My great aunt bought the piano as her first major purchase from her first big job. She gave it to me when we got married and now it's gone. I held it together when we were dealing with the situation, but then I got in the truck and cried the whole way home. I called my aunt to apologize and to get some sympathy. It was dramatic.

Luckily, we got most of the big stuff moved on Friday because it literally rained all day on Saturday. We had a few more hands on Saturday, so we took one quick trip and tarped everything for protection. That took care of all the big stuff and we've been making little trips here and there to finish up the little stuff and clean. We're hoping to have a yard sale at the old house this weekend because there is lots of stuff to get rid of! We paid rent through the end of the month, and we're gonna use the house until the end of the month!

The next week was crazy, making trips and getting unpacked. Kraig took one of our teens to Johnson Bible College for a campus visit from Wednesday through Friday. Both of Kraig's sisters and our brother-in-law arrived Thursday to spend Easter weekend with us. His parents arrived on Friday. Fortunately, they didn't mind the moving mess! It's not as bad as I make it out to be, I don't think, but I hate feeling unsettled. Once I'm ready to decorate and can put away the tubs of extra decor, we'll be doing better. We had a good Easter weekend though and enjoyed spending time with the family.

Kraig's regular day off is Monday, so we did some more cleaning and unpacking on Monday morning. When Kate went down for her nap, we cleaned out the car and cleaned the car. We need a second vehicle, and we're ready to trade in our Focus. So we ran an errand after Kate woke up and stopped by the Ford dealership to see what kind of options we had. We got there around 5:15, planning to grab dinner out when we were finished. At 9:25, we left the dealership with no Focus and two new (to us) cars. We were surprised that we were able to get what we wanted. They gave us $11000 in trade for Focus and we got a 2006 Mazda 5 for me and a 2004 Pontiac Grand Am for Kraig. Kraig's car is orange. It's perfect. They both have sunroofs. Kraig's car has quite a few miles on it, so we got it pretty cheap. The van looks brand new. It's not a huge van, it's more like an SUV with a third row of seats and sliding side doors. It's gonna be so convenient when we have two car seats. What a crazy turn of events, right?! All in all, we're paying a little more per month but we now have two cars. The first Sunday that we lived in the new house, Kraig went to first service and then ran home to get me before second service. We were almost late. Not so great when the minister can't be on time! Now we don't have to worry about that:)

In other news, I'm 24 weeks pregnant. Moving while pregnant is the worst idea ever. There's so much you can't do and I know I overdid it. My body is still sore. Kate's adjusting to a new house. It took her a few nights to be comfortable falling asleep in her room by herself, but things are much better now. Kraig's parents brought her a new toddler bed when they came this weekend, so we'll transition to that when she's more settled here. Kraig's been run ragged with all the chaos, but things will settle down soon.

AND, I won a giveaway last night!! I won a $10 store credit to JackBeNatural from The Cloth Diaper Fairy. I've ordered all my diapers from JackBeNatural. Their customer service is second to none. They are fantastic! The Cloth Diaper Fairy is a fellow Christian mommy who cloth diapers and is also expecting her second baby, and we've made a nice connection because of that. You should check out her blogs! I can't wait to order something from JBN. I'm thinking I'm going to get some diaper specific laundry detergent, but ordering another diaper is always tempting:)

Pictures of all our lastest excitment are coming soon....as soon as I figure out where I packed my camera cable!

Twenty down, how many to go?

I cannot believe that I've made it through 20 whole weeks of pregnancy already. It feels like time has flown by this time. When I was pregnant with Kate, I wrote several notes on facebook during the process. I think I wrote one for every trimester and one for her birth. I've kept a more constant update on here about how things have been, but I think I'll recap the first 20 weeks.

Our hope was to be strategic in when this baby would be born. We live far away from our families and we live in the mountains, so we knew we didn't want a baby at a time that would impede our holiday travels or where the weather would prevent our family to come visit. My husband is also out-of-town several weeks in the summer, and I'm definitely not interested in having a baby by myself. So between December and February are good months for us to conceive, and between June and August. I went off birth control several months ago just to get my cycles regulated so that we could try between December and February. But I conceived in November. Both our babies have been conceived in November, actually. I should have waited til at least Monday, December 6th to test, but I was too anxious to wait. I bought a two pack of regular pregnancy tests on Friday the 3rd. I took the first one Friday night, and I was convinced there was a faint line. Kraig agreed. So we waited and I took another Saturday morning. Still a faint line, but definitely stronger than the night before. I couldn't take the anticipation anymore, so I went to Target and bought two digital tests. There's nothing like the word "pregnant" on the screen to convince you. Saturday night I took the digital test, and it was positive. We're pregnant! I still had another digital left, so I took it Sunday morning just to make sure the previous three weren't flukes. It also said "pregnant." It may be a month earlier than we planned, but we are ecstatic!

I felt the baby move pretty early on, which is always a comforting thing. I've never had morning sickness or most of the traditional pregnancy symptoms, so feeling the baby definitely makes everything feel real. I didn't have an early ultrasound with this pregnancy, either, so we hadn't got to see it yet. I went for my first physical appointment on February 7th and finally got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. I think the heart rate was 148 bpm. All the old wives' tales say that anything above 140 is a girl. I was pretty convinced we'd have a girl, so the heart rate was no surprise to me.

I scheduled my big ultrasound appointment for March 14th, my birthday. I thought it'd be a great way to spend my birthday. We found out Kate's gender on March 13th, so it was kind of neat to have the appointments on such similar dates. Our friend Sara took the day off work to keep Kate for the morning, so Kraig and I went by ourselves. We got in pretty quickly and got to see the baby very quickly. It was comforting to see that there actually was a baby in there. The tech took pictures of various body parts and organs, and then the time came to look for the gender. Before she even asked if we wanted to know the gender, we could tell it was a boy. She finally asked and I quickly said, "yes." I could feel my heart racing. I knew what she was going to say, but I wanted it confirmed. "It's a boy," she said without hesitation. My eyes welled up with tears. It was definitely an exciting moment. We're having a boy. Kate's going to have a brother. We would have been just as happy with a girl, but we could hardly contain our excitement. Before we had even made it out of the office and to the car, we were on the phone spreading the news. I was 18 weeks that day.

Yesterday, we hit the 20 week mark. The beginning was a little exhausting, especially when chasing around Kate. Once the second trimester hit, though, my energy returned. I'm feeling great and enjoying being able to feel Jackson move more and more. There's nothing like feeling a baby move inside you. It's a feeling that's only for you. No one else can share it. I cannot wait to meet this little boy. This first half has flown by. I'm sure the second half will go slower, especially as I continue to grow larger and larger. I'm just trying to savor every moment. It's almost April, though. August will be here before we know it!

The Things They Don't Tell You, the FINAL part

As I've written these posts, I just keep thinking of more and more things to include. I never imagined this would take five segments. But here we are at number five! These final ten will be specifically related to after labor & delivery and through the postpartum period.

41) Standing may be difficult for the first time, particularly if you've had an epidural or C-section. Ask for help! You definitely don't want to end up on the floor. You've had enough trauma for one day.

42) Going to the bathroom may be difficult for the first few times, even just urinating.

43) Take any and all stool softeners the hospital gives you. If they don't give you any, find some. Take as many as you can, drink plenty of water and juice and eat lot of fiber. It's important to do as much of this as possible to avoid hemorrhoids, if you don't already have them, and anal fissures. Trust me, you don't want to go there.

44) You will have period-like bleeding for several weeks (up to 6!) after the baby is born. Believe it or not, everyone doesn't realize this in advance.

45) Use the pads and panties the hospital provides you. They are much more absorbent than ones at home and when you're done with the panties, you throw them away. You don't want to ruin anything nice of your own if you leak.

46) If you tore and now have stitches, the hospital should provide you with ice packs and/or a numbing lidocaine spray to help ease the pain and swelling. My hospital had pads with ice packs built into them and they were amazing. Using the two in combination was very relieving.

47) Standing for extended periods of time after you've given birth may lead to pain in the vaginal/perineum area. In my experience, this lasted for nearly a year. It's a rather dull pain, but it's there.

48) Your bladder control will take a while to return. You've probably heard your mom say that she still pees every time she sneezes. You may have this problem and you may not. It got better with time for me, but returned again about as soon as I found out I was pregnant again. This may be a problem during vomiting, as well.

49) You're going to have the "baby blues" for a few days, at least. With all the rush of hormones and the time it takes for them to level out, you're probably going to feel emotionally unstable for a while. For some people, it's a few days. If you have any of the following symptoms, you need to contact your doctor:

• Your depressed feelings haven't gone away after two weeks.
• Your depression symptoms are getting worse.
• You've developed strong feelings of anger or sadness.
• It's hard for you to perform daily tasks.
• You are having trouble caring for yourself or your baby.
• You are having thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby.
• You are seeing or hearing things that aren't there, or you are feeling confused.
• You are having rapid mood swings.
  

Remember, these feelings are normal, but you may still need help.

50) Breastfeeding is not easy. If you're planning to breastfeed, take advantage of the lactation consultants or knowledgeable nurses at the hospital to make sure things are going well. This is the best opportunity you're going to get for help, so make the most of it.

51) It's okay to not allow a thousand people to come visit you at the hospital or at home. You need this time to adjust and get the hang of things. People can wait. Sometimes, this means not answering the door when someone knocks or not picking up every phone call. I've read others suggest changing your voicemail/answering machine to a message that reflects your need for some privacy right now. That's okay!

52) If you have visitors but it's time to nurse your baby, it's okay to ask them to leave or wait in the waiting room until your done. You're new at this. You don't need to feel like you have to nurse in a room full of people and you certainly don't want to miss a feeding time. It's important to keep nursing regularly, even before your milk comes in, to help establish your supply.

And one last piece of "knowledge": Everyone has different experiences when it comes to pregnancy, labor & delivery and the recovery period. If you have questions about what's going on, ask someone! Sometimes it seems embarrassing to discuss things related to this, but you need to get the right information to help you in the process. Don't be afraid to ask!

And with that, I think we're done!! I'm sure there's plenty more that could be said, but this will have to suffice. I hope you've enjoyed reading them.

The Things They Don't Tell You, part 4

Continuing the series, here's another ten things about the end of pregnancy, labor & delivery and postpartum that don't always get talked about.

31) You won't necessarily get to have your doctor deliver your baby. Generally, their goal is to deliver their own patients, but if your doctor's not on call and you deliver at a non-business hour time or if someone else is delivering at the same time as you, you may get the on-call doctor. Trust me, by the time you're ready to deliver, you won't care!

32) All epidurals don't work. Some people have wonderful experiences where they feel little to no pain. For others, the epidural doesn't work at all or only works on one particular side or the other. Many people recommend doing at least some form of birthing class, even if you're choosing an epidural, so that you'll be better prepared to deal with the pain if pain control isn't effective for you.

33) If you're being induced, it doesn't always work. Some mothers end up requiring a C-section after hours and hours of labor that proves ineffective.

34) If you're being induced or in labor without an epidural, getting up to go to the bathroom is quite a chore. For me, it involved throwing something at my husband to wake him up, unhooking the baby monitors, unplugging the IV unit from the wall so it could be wheeled, taking off the pulse/ox monitor and taking off the blood pressure cuff. Once the deed is done, everything has to be plugged back in or put back on. We could never successfully put the blood pressure cuff where it needed to be, so I also had to call a nurse.

35) Some women feel lots of pressure when it's time to push. My epidural was very successful, however, so I was completely surprised when my nurse told me I was completely dilated, the baby's head was very well descended and I was ready to push. I had no idea.

36) Pushing doesn't always come naturally. I've heard it referred to as a "learned process" many times. Some women are great at it right off the bat, others take a lot more guidance. Don't be frustrated if you don't get it right away. You're new at this!

37) Pushing out the baby can lead to pushing out bowel movements. Yes, it's disgusting, but it happens all the time. When you're induced, they don't let you eat and you've had time to clean out your system. If you go into labor on your own and it progresses quickly, fate is in the hands of your digestive system. You can, however, very specifically ask for the doctor or nurses to not tell you if this happens.

38) Pushing is very strenuous work and will leave you exhausted. If you need to take a break and get a drink, ask! You've got to keep up your strength until the baby is delivered.

39) The placenta is generally not difficult to deliver. It is, however, nasty to look at. If you don't want to see it, don't look. They're probably not going to shield you from it.

40) Once they take the baby away to clean it off and weigh it, etc, it can take a while to get the baby back. I sent my husband with the baby because I couldn't stand the thought of her being "by herself." By the time they were done with her, I was completely stitched up and the doctor was gone.

Next? The final post in the series, which will focus on the postpartum recovery period.

Things on the homefront

At my ultrasound earlier in the week, the ultrasound tech determined that I'm measuring a week ahead. Counting that way, I'll be 20 weeks on Monday! I'm going to stick with 19, but 20 sounds good! I can't believe how fast this is flying along.

Things are going well around here. We're set to close on our house on April 14th and we should have keys that day. We've been enjoying some spring-like weather, which has Kate begging to go outside constantly. Her vocabulary is rapidly expanding. I read something the other day that a kid her age should have a regular vocabulary of 5-20 words. This seems low to me, considering that Kate has around 150 regular words in her vocab. Not to mention all the words she comprehends. She's constantly surprising me with a new word and it's amazing how much easier it is to communicate now. Kraig's doing well. He's planning for a big summer with two trips and a week of camp, PLUS having a baby. I'm sure it'll be crazy!

I'm still feeling pretty well. I had some allergy issues earlier this week, since things are blooming here, but they seem to have dissipated. I'm still dealing with back/hip pain, particularly with sleeping, but I anticipate they'll be with me for a while. I had a massage when I was about this far along with Kate and it helped tremendously. I may have to see if we can work that in the budget. I'm getting excited about having a little boy. I sorted through all the tubs of clothing that Kate's outgrown in the last 20 months. There were ten total. I pulled out about a tub full of gender neutral clothes and loaded the rest to send back to my sister. She's going to store the girl clothes until we've both decided whether or not we're done making babies. We've got three outfits this week from friends and my mom bought me a new diaper bag for my birthday (Vera Bradley). We've got hand-me-downs coming, too. All-in-all, I think Kate had too many clothes, but I'm sure our little guy will have plenty.

I've come to a decision about cloth diapers, I think. I'm going to purchase Kawaii diapers. I think prefolds and covers are a great idea, but I don't think they'll be as great for us since they're a little more of a hassle to use. I love the idea of pocket diapers and all-in-ones. I'm planning to purchase mostly pocket diapers, but also a few AIOs to use if we're going out. I'm still debating between Velcro and snap versions. Velcro seems to make sense for ease of use, but they tend to wear out a little faster than snaps. Though, as a friend reminded me, you can replace the Velcro or even convert them to snaps eventually. Price wise, they're the same, so I may just order a few of each to start with and then add more once I decide what I like. Overall, I'm going to be able to get everything I need to get started, including some smaller diapers to use in the newborn phase, for around $150. That's about what it costs for two months of disposable diapers, but they'll last much longer. I can't wait to get started!

Next doctor's appointment, just a boring, routine checkup is April 11. A little over three weeks away!

The Things They Don't Tell You, part 3

As I finish up the last two parts of "The Things They Don't Tell You," I'll be transitioning to things more related to the end of the third trimester, labor & delivery and the postpartum period. I have a feeling there are more of these things than of the others!

21) All pregnant bellies aren't cute. Some of them grow in odd ways and you end up looking more like there's a pointy watermelon under your shirt rather than a basketball.

22) Too much physical activity can cause contractions towards the end. They may just be braxton-hicks, but they'll leave you feeling on the edge of your seat until they go away (or until you've wasted several hours and labor & delivery, only to be told you're not in labor).

23) If you think you're in labor, call the doctor. If it's past regular business hours, call labor & delivery (L&D) and talk to a nurse. They may decide you need to come in and be monitored.

24) There's a good possibility you'll think you're in labor several times before you really are. I took at least two trips to L&D before I was actually induced with my first.

25) Your water does not have to break for you to be in labor. Don't wait for it to break if your contractions are coming regularly and close together.

26) The larger you grow with pregnancy, the harder it becomes to breathe as your lungs become constricted.

27) Severe swelling is something that needs to be reported to your doctor. It can be a sign of things like preeclampsia.

28) When the doctor checks your cervix to see if you're dilated or effaced, it will hurt--particularly when you're not very far along in the process.

29) After the doctor checks you, some spotting is normal. If you feel it's excessive, call your doctor's office.

30) You're probably not going to deliver on your due date. I, for example, had to be induced at 37 weeks with my first because of preeclampsia, but there are many women who go to 41 or 42 weeks before they go into labor or are induced. I hate to bring out the negatives, but you should be prepared for whatever happens.

There will be at least one more post in this series in the upcoming week. Stay tuned!

Things They Don't Tell You, part 2

If you haven't read my previous blog post, it's part 1. Check it out. As I said before, there is lots of information available to you about pregnancy, labor & delivery, postpartum and dealing with a newborn. Unfortunately, some things you don't hear about until you experience them. Some things, perhaps, people are uncomfortable talking about and other things you read but ignored, thinking, "That'll never happen to me!" My hope is to be transparent in an attempt to help first-timers more aware of what they might encounter.

More pregnancy-related "secrets":

11) Your belly button may literally go from being an "innie", to being so stretched you can't tell where it was, to being an "outie" that very obviously protrudes from beneath your shirt.

12) You can get stretch marks ANYWHERE. Some people get them just on their bellies, others have them on their legs and breasts. Excited yet?

13) Your belly will most likely itch from the stretching it endures. Lotion helps!

14) Studies show that if you're born to get stretch marks, you'll get them regardless of what kind of preventative measures you take.

15) Even once your breasts stop being tender (generally after the first trimester), your nipples can remain very sensitive to things such as touch and temperature change.

16) Your sense of balance is a constantly changing thing as you adapt to an ever-growing belly. Simple things like bowling or tying your shoes can become complicated. (Yes, the bowling reference is from experience).

17) Reading about newborn care and breastfeeding is important. Yes, some things can and will come naturally, but having a good reference is vital in those first few weeks when you're sleep deprived and emotional. Start reading before the baby is born so you have a leg up on things.

18) It's never stupid to call the doctor's office and ask questions. They know you're hormonal and full of questions. You're not the first mom to panic about something every five minutes. The doctor's office is an important resource. It's important to call when there is potential for your concern to be important. If your doctor's office doesn't take your questions seriously, I would consider finding one that does.

19) People (including ones you don't know) will try to give you all sorts of advice once they realize you're pregnant. Some of it may be helpful, but most of it will be annoying or even shocking. Having a patent response such as, "Thanks for sharing that with me," can help you get through awkward situations. (It also helps if you can control the eye rolls.)

20) At your "big" ultrasound, you may not get the news you're expecting. Baby might not cooperate with the ultrasound tech and you may have no idea what the gender is. Also, you may find yourself disappointed at the gender that is discovered. If you're hoping for a particular gender and end up with the other, you may find it takes some time to adjust your thinking and re-excite yourself about your upcoming arrival. While you may feel stupid or guilty about this, it's normal!

How I'm feeling...exhausted. After spending the day on my feet cooking and cleaning, I'm ready for bed!

What's next?? Part 3 of the Things They Don't Tell You series.

Things They Don't Tell You, part 1

Pregnancy is full of surprises for most people. Even if you read all the pregnancy related books out there, you're likely to experience something that you never read and you never heard your girlfriends talk about. Here's a few of the "things" that I've heard that can come as a surprise to pregnant ladies about the earlier parts of pregnancy:

1) All pregnant women do not get morning sickness. I've recently read statistics that said around 80% of women do, but not all. For some people, morning sickness lasts a few weeks. For others, it can last the entire pregnancy.

2) "Morning sickness" is not necessarily just a morning problem. There are plenty of women who are sick all day long or find themselves sick in the evenings. Don't let the "morning" part fool you.

3) Just because you're pregnant does not mean you can eat anything and everything. Yes, you will be hungrier than usual, but for a single pregnancy only an additional 300 calories are needed per day. That's like a yogurt and half a bagel.

4) While some women may appear "glowing" during pregnancy, others suffer from a variety of skin problems during pregnancy--teenage-like acne included.

5) Sleep will become increasingly difficult as you learn to not sleep on your back or stomach and your body becomes larger. My hips, in particular, become painful during pregnancy and make sleep difficult.

6) Though you are excited because your pregnancy test came back positive, your doctor may not want to see you for several weeks or more. With my first pregnancy, I did not see the doctor for the first time until 13 weeks. With my second, I was almost 8 weeks. This is not unusual, but it will definitely test your patience.

7) Your belly will mostly likely start to look a little fat before it starts to actually look like you're pregnant.

8) Your first ultrasound, if performed at an early appointment, will be mostly likely performed vaginally. I was completely surprised about during my first pregnancy.

9) At a typical OB/GYN office, you can literally wait for hours. This is a very sensitive practice. Doctors do everything in appointments from routine check-ups, ultrasounds and pap smears, to having to tell a woman she has cancer or may have lost her baby. These appointments take time. If you were in a sensitive situation, you would want the doctor to take as much time with you and not rush off. Remember this when you're looking at your clock, realizing your appointment should have started 45 minutes ago. It's also possible that another patient went into labor and your OB is at the hospital delivering a baby. You'd want him there if it were you! But be prepared!! Snacks and reading material are always helpful.

10) It's okay to feel like a basket case. Your hormones are crazy right now and you're adjusting to the knowledge that you're carrying a baby. It's a very emotional time. And it's very normal!

How I'm feeling...pretty good! Less than two weeks until our big ultrasound!!

Next time? More things they don't always tell you about pregnancy!

Two weeks later

It's been a long stretch between posts here. I had every intention of writing last week, but our world was extra crazy last week. On Monday, I got word that our loan pre-approval was done and we could now meet with our realtor. We met with our realtor, George for the first time on Thursday to go over paperwork, sign some preliminary documents and check out some potential properties online so we could decide which we wanted to see in person. When we left the office after nearly two hours, George said to pick the top three or four and let him know as soon as possible. I called him back about an hour later after Kraig and I had narrowed the options and he said, "Okay, let me get some things in order and we'll see if we can't go look at these properties tomorrow morning." That felt fast, but we were excited to get out there and see things in person after searching online for almost as long as we've lived here.

Friday morning, we set off to meet George at the first property. It was a townhouse. Being from small towns that still don't have "townhouses," Kraig and I were very skeptical of the idea. George thought it was a perfect option, though, because you can get a lot more square footage for your money in a townhouse. We arrived a few minutes early and surveyed the neighborhood, in spite of the fact that we'd driven past the night before. When George arrived, we went in and were pleasantly surprised at what we saw.

The front door opened to a decent sized living room with a pass-through window into the kitchen. Just off the living room was a small half-bath. I was just thrilled that there would definitely be two toilets in the house. Beyond the living room was the kitchen and dining area. Though there's not much counter space, there was definitely room for an island to be put in and for a table to seat at least 6. The kitchen appliances, all which appeared to be new, were black Kenmore energy star appliances. The fridge, a side-by-side, had an ice maker and water dispenser in the door. They might not have been the color I would have chosen, but they still seemed a little like a dream come true. The dishwasher definitely added to the dream. On the back wall of the kitchen was a sliding glass door, where there is potential for a nice deck, as this floor is the second floor based on the back of the house. Next, we went down stairs to see the fully finished walk-out basement. It had another sliding door, where there was a perfect location for a patio that would be shaded by the deck. Off of the main area of the basement was a storage closet, a large utility closet for washer and dryer AND a full bathroom. Next we went to see the bedrooms upstairs. There were two smaller rooms for the kids, another full bath and the master bedroom. They all had decent closet space, and I should mention that all three of the bathrooms appeared to be recently renovated. So much space and it was clean and new looking. The carpets had been cleaned and the walls had even been repainted some variety of white. I think I was scared to like it because I knew Kraig didn't like the townhouse idea. But he loved it. After leaving, we realized the only things we might change were small things like light fixtures and the flooring of the kitchen and bathroom. These are all minor things that we could do eventually, nothing that would have to be done before we moved in. Definitely a positive!

After seeing the townhouse, we went to see a ranch style house a few blocks away. We walked in and I kind of cringed. After entering the second room, I said, "I think we can go now." The house was mess. The walls were dirty, the floors were dirty and felt unstable. The kitchen was grimy. That was all I needed to see. It was a disappointment, but we knew we didn't have money to fix up a house like that and we knew this house would never pass the inspection for our loan. Sadly, the prices of this house and the nice, new townhouse was very similar. We still had another house to see, though, so we went on.

The next house looked really cute in the pictures, but it was not so cute in person. The front screen door was literally hanging by the bottom hinge and the hydraulics at the top. Not a good sign. As we stepped onto the front little deck up to the door, the whole thing moved and made bad noises. Not so promising. As we went in the house, there were bedrooms immediately on the left and right. The living room was basically the center of the house, and everything was built off it. The kitchen was straight back from the front door and it looked decent, but the appliances and flooring were very worn and showing their age. Off the kitchen was a door to the back yard. It was a small area, but decent looking and much better kept than the rest of the house. When we went back in, we went to the master bedroom, which was beside the kitchen. It had a great closet and it's own bathroom. The bathroom was in the best shape of any room in the house, but it was just an average size. We left the master and went to the second bathroom, which was also in good shape. Then we checked out the bedrooms. They were a decent size, but their condition was not so great. There was nothing major wrong with the house, but it's size and layout was not for us. There was no room to grow there, for sure. Definitely not for us.

So we went outside and, after securing the precarious front door, we talked about what we'd seen. Obviously neither of the houses were for us. Their conditions were not as good as the townhouse, for sure. Neither of them had a basement either, finished or not. We really value our current finished basement space for when we have teens over. It's just a great, comfortable place to hang out. That was definitely something we were hoping for in a new place. All-in-all, we just kept coming back to the townhouse. Yes, we'd only seen three properties in person, but we'd seen the best three properties in person. In our price range in this area (the greater DC area), there's not much that's in livable condition. Ninety percent of the places we were interested in at our price range were foreclosures. You just never know what you're walking into with foreclosures. Unfortunately, the two we looked at weren't great. So, standing in the front yard of house #3, we decided we were ready to pursue the townhouse. It had only been on the market for ten or twelve days and we didn't want to lose it. Who knows how long it would be before something in this condition would come along again in our price range.

So, Friday afternoon, we put in an offer. And then we waited. George finally called this morning (Monday) and said that the sellers had countered our offer. They didn't come down much at all, but we were comfortable countering a little higher than our original offer. George called in the counter offer, and we waited. A few hours later he called Kraig and began chatting about the weather. He was making small talk. Clearly he had bad news. Then he said, "Are you having a good day? Enjoy the holiday? Because it's about to get better. You've got a townhouse!" We were thrilled. We never saw it going this way, but we prayed for God to give us open eyes and minds and to help us be clear about what He wanted for us. Thankfully, we never doubted our decision. Tomorrow we'll have some papers to sign and then there's inspections and appraisals. As long as those things go okay and the house is in an acceptable condition for the loan, we should be in settlement (whatever that means) around March 16th and keys in hand by April 16th. It's perfect timing, in spite of how fast it felt. We'll be able to give our 30 days notice in April and be out before May rent is due. Our lease is up after April, and while it just goes month-to-month after that, we're ready to be out of this house and neighborhood. They've served us very well, but we're ready to be somewhere else. We love Winchester and plan on staying here. The townhouse is in the school district we wanted, which is awesome. Our hope is to live there until the kids are in school and I've got a job. We'll have a little more income then and we'll be able to, hopefully, buy the house that we can stay in forever. This is home.

Sorry for the long, non-pregnancy related post. This is our excitement right now.

In pregnancy news, I'm 15 weeks today. Things are going well. Three more weeks until the "big" ultrasound!

What's next? Hopefully, the promised "Things they don't tell you" posts.

Coming soon...

Things are getting back to normal here. We've all been sick. Kate's finally better. Kraig's getting there. I'm in the midst of a nasty cold, but I'll survive. Monday afternoon I'll have my first real appointment with my doctor and we'll finally get to hear the heartbeat of this baby. I can't wait! I'll be posting Monday or Tuesday about how that appointment goes. I'm anxious to meet the doctor and see if I'm going to like this office or not. I loved my doctor with Kate and I'm not sure anyone could live up to that experience. I hope it doesn't ruin me!

I'm also going to start a series of posts called "The Things They Don't Tell You." It'll be all the things I've learned so far about pregnancy, childbirth and living with a newborn that don't always get talked about. Hopefully, it will be informative and enlightening!

How I'm feeling...anxious!

I haven't forgotten...

Dear Blog,

I have not forgotten about you. Unfortunately, the plague has taken over my house. First the daughter, then the husband and now the Mommy. They were so sweet to share. There's not much else to share. Doctor's appointment to hear the baby on Monday! Can't wait!

Hoping to return to you soon,
Stacy

Something's in the water

I've had TWO friends confide pregnancies in me this week. Two. Must be something in the water?? It's very exciting to have these ladies so we can endure our pregnancies together. When I was pregnant with Kate, I had a friend from our previous church that was pregnant. Our due dates were a day shy of eight weeks apart. It was great to have her to call and ask questions and to talk to about the stupid things you obsess over when you're pregnant. There are things that we talked about that I would never discuss with someone else. Our shared pregnancies created a special bond. Though, after seeing the size of her newborn, I was admittedly a little more nervous about delivering mine. Really? Something that big is going to be making it's way out of me? Eek! It was nice to know that what I was experiencing was normal, because she was going through the same things.

I'm so excited to have this again with two friends. I'll be eleven weeks Monday, one friend will be 7 weeks on Sunday and the other is just about four weeks pregnant. We'll all be hitting our milestones within just a few weeks of each other. In my previous pregnancy, my friend was overdue before she gave birth and I was induced 3 weeks early. Our babies have only a five week age difference. It's a very exciting time! I just keep waiting to hear another pregnancy announcement!

How I'm feeling...I super excited! I'm excited to have friends in my boat again. I'm excited that my next appointment is just a little over a week away. The anticipation is growing! I don't feel like my belly is growing too much. My pants are still tight, but not any different than they were in the beginning. Maybe the bloat is ending and the baby bump is starting protrude. It won't be long!