The Things They Don't Tell You About Caring for an Infant, Part 3...FINALLY!
Part one focused on the early days with baby, part two focused on breastfeeding and part three will focus on sleep! My sleep experiences with my two kids have been vastly different, so hopefully I'll be able to encourage you that your kid is normal too:)
1) The first six weeks are generally the worst, but every kid is different. After the first six weeks, Kate was waking less frequently to eat. Four and five hour stretches felt amazing. Then around 2 to 2 1/2 months, she was sleeping a full 10-12 hours at night. Jackson has had a few nights where he's slept 8-10 hours, but even at 8 months old he's still getting up once or twice at night. Some of this is due to growth spurts and teething, but he's so different than Kate that I can't help but be frustrated by it at times. Another possible reason behind this is the difference between formula fed Kate and breastfed Jack. Breast milk is digested easier and quicker, leading to hungry bellies faster. Just a fact.
2) Putting a baby down to sleep or nap early is better than letting baby get too tired. Eventually, you'll be able to notice baby's sleep cues early enough to catch him at the right time. For Jack, an hour and fifteen minutes after he wakes up is when he needs to go down for his morning nap. If I wait too long, he will cry forever before falling asleep.
3) Unless you're planning to co-sleep, the baby will sleep better in her own bed. We moved Kate to her own bed around 8 weeks and Jackson around 5 months. Their sleeping improved dramatically. It's still important to keep baby close when she's up eating constantly in the night, but those days won't last forever. There are also studies that show the risk of SIDS is lowered when baby is sleeping in the same room as Mom and Dad, though. I know I just contradicted myself in a way, but you need to know the facts before you decide what's best for you.
4) You may have heard it before, but it really is best to put baby down awake at nap and bed times. Sometimes that might mean baby cries, but trust me--he'll sleep better because of it.
5) Babies often sleep better with a source of constant noise--like a fan, humidifier or noise machine.
6) Babies love to know that Mommy is near. Sleep with their favorite blanket for a couple nights or swaddle baby in the t-shirt you wore during the day. Your scent will help comfort her.
7) With your first, you really can sleep when baby sleeps. If you have more than one, it's not so easy. Don't be afraid to ask someone to come sit with your kids so you can sleep. Don't be afraid to let Daddy watch them for an hour in the evening so you can get some zzz's. Sleep will help you be a better Mommy. Trust me.
8) If you are comfortable co-sleeping, your baby may sleep for longer periods of time because she is near you. Co-sleeping is especially easier for breastfed babies, if baby will nurse while lying down.
9) Swaddling definitely helps little babies sleep better. Once baby is big enough to squirm out of a swaddle, though, sleep sacks are very helpful in keeping baby a little more snug and keeping him warm.
10) Room darkening curtains that block out the sunlight are a huge help in encouraging baby to sleep--especially if you don't want to be awake as soon as the sun rises!
Part four will hopefully be around next week, where I'll discuss issues such as teething and illness! See you then!
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
The Things They Don't Tell You About Caring for an Infant, Part 2
Happy Friday! Before the weekend hits, here's part two of the current series--all about breastfeeding. If you're not a breastfeeding mom, don't worry! There's plenty of non-breastfeeding advice coming soon. I've had a bottle fed kid and a breastfed kid, so there's plenty to share. If you're not sure about breastfeeding, I encourage you to at least give it a try. You won't regret trying, but you may regret not trying when it's too late. Remember, it's free!
11) If you're a breastfeeding mom, enough emphasis isn't placed on the fact that (especially your first time) you're probably going to need help. During my first pregnancy I thought, "Women have been doing this for thousands of years. It's natural. It'll be easy." I didn't read enough or take a class. I barely even let the lactation consultant talk to me. A nurse helped me once and gave me some terrible advice. Breastfeeding was a total fail the first time around. I wasn't prepared, I didn't have support, and it most certainly did not come naturally. There were a number of contributing factors to why I didn't survive the first time, but I didn't realize why it didn't work until the second time around. The second time around, I read books, blogs, talked to friends, took a class and used the lactation consultant as often as she was available at the hospital. What I learned was that the advice a nurse had given me while nursing my first baby was totally wrong. In fact, it was probably the biggest reason why it just never worked for us. Moral of the story: be prepared and don't be afraid to ask for help. Modesty should never have priority over the health and well-being of your little one. With my first baby, we were done breastfeeding at 6 weeks.
12) Breastfeeding can be relatively easy and painless. The first time around was awful for me. I was sore, terribly engorged and miserable. The second time around, with the help of a lactation consultant, we got the latch right during the second feeding and never looked back. Proper latch is the biggest battle you fight in warding off pain and other problems. Without the lactation consultant, though, our latch was totally wrong--even though I'd read and researched. It's important to make sure you have a good, strong latch from the beginning.
13) Putting baby to breast as soon as possible after birth is a great jump-start to breastfeeding and to your mommy-baby bond. You've probably heard that, but I want to emphasize it. I know you're excited to show off your little one. You want to call the people from the waiting room back to see him or her as soon as possible. I know I did. I barely waited the first time. I let Kate try to latch and she weakly attempted to nurse for a short amount of time. I rushed her off, partially because there was a nurse in the room and I didn't want her to watch and partially so we could usher in our company. I regret it to this day. With Jack, I took my time. He nursed for almost forty minutes and I took the time to enjoy snuggling him all by myself. I'd earned that time to myself with him! I can't help but think that some of our nursing issues with Kate weren't because of those first few moments after birth. Take your time--the visitors can wait!
14) If you're having latch issues and a nurse or lactation consultant (LC) recommends a nipple shield, make sure you don't come to rely on it. It's meant to be a short term tool to help baby learn to nurse--like a trainer. While using one, however, nursing is not as efficient or stimulating as it is without the shield. I've read in multiple places that you need to pump after using a shield every time to maintain proper stimulation and ensure that your milk supply will be well established.
15) During growth spurts, which happen VERY frequently in a newborn, baby may want to cluster feed. You've heard this, I'm sure. What this actually translates to, however, is that baby may literally want to nurse non-stop for hours at a time. It sounds terrible. I didn't realize this the first time around and it was a very frustrating thing. The second time around, I was prepared for it. I was able to have things around to me to keep me entertained during these times and was able to think of it as a time where I could sit and rest. I found it much less frustrating when I knew it was coming.
16) Sometimes it's difficult to keep baby awake for a full feeding. In the day time, noise and light are usually enough to keep this from being too much of an issue. At night, however, this can be a problem. Baby wakes up, barely eats and falls back asleep. Baby wakes up an hour later hungry and the process repeats. You really suffer because baby wakes up just about the time you fall asleep. And, if a baby gets into this habit, it's a feeding pattern that can continue. While you don't want to overstimulate your baby during the night and keep her from sleeping, you do want her to eat and have a full belly. Some recommendations I've heard are things like tickling baby's feet, unswaddling the baby or unbuttoning baby's clothes. I've tried them all. I would also recommend feeding baby as long as she will eat on one breast, changing baby's diaper and then offering the second breast. A diaper change is usually stimulating enough to rouse the baby for a little more food.
17) Sometimes it's difficult to keep yourself awake in the middle of the night for a feeding. Do whatever you need to do to keep the baby safe during this time. If you're sitting up, feeding baby in bed and you fall asleep, baby could easily fall out of the bed. Just something to think about! The night's when I had the most trouble, I made my husband help keep me awake or keep the baby for a few minutes while I got up and used the restroom (and woke up).
18) A breastfeeding pillow isn't necessary, but they are very helpful. Other pillows can be used for the same purpose, however, if you don't want to buy one or aren't sure if you'll use it. Most of the time I just used throw pillows from my couch. I do love the other things you can do with the Boppy pillow, though. It's a great stabilizing and protecting-from-falls pillow when baby is learning to sit-up.
19) It is okay to nurse in public. I don't do it often because Jack is squirmy and it's impossible to be as modest as I want to be, but it can be done. If you're not comfortable nursing in public, that's fine, too. It can be done very discreetly, where few people will actually know what's going on. A well made nursing cover is great for this, because it has a strap to keep it in place and is made so you can still see baby while he nurses. Other people are content to nurse in public and aren't so concerned about the whole world seeing their exposed body parts. I'm not one of those people. If you're looking for a nursing cover, check out this website with lots of super cute hand-sewn baby options like covers, cloth diapers and bibs.
20) If you're planning to breastfeed, but want the freedom to go to dinner with your hubby or be out of the house alone for more than a couple hours, you need to teach baby to use a bottle early on. If you wait too long, baby may very likely refuse the bottle. If you do it too soon, you may have nipple confusion issues. My LC recommended giving baby a bottle of breast milk, once breastfeeding was well-established, between weeks 4 and 6. I started Jack with one every day or so at week 5, and he did just fine. Once he got used to it, it wasn't a big deal and he only used them if I was gone. Having the flexibility is very, very nice. I've had friends with babies that refused bottles and they were never able to leave them alone for any length of time. Starting baby on a bottle is especially important if you're going to be returning to work and still hoping to breastfeed. If you're hoping to pump and have milk to give in a bottle, pumping after the baby's first feed of the day works well. You'll also want to pump around the time baby takes the bottle of breast milk so you don't run the risk of lessening your milk supply.
Look for Part 3 on Tuesday! Hope you have a blessed weekend!
11) If you're a breastfeeding mom, enough emphasis isn't placed on the fact that (especially your first time) you're probably going to need help. During my first pregnancy I thought, "Women have been doing this for thousands of years. It's natural. It'll be easy." I didn't read enough or take a class. I barely even let the lactation consultant talk to me. A nurse helped me once and gave me some terrible advice. Breastfeeding was a total fail the first time around. I wasn't prepared, I didn't have support, and it most certainly did not come naturally. There were a number of contributing factors to why I didn't survive the first time, but I didn't realize why it didn't work until the second time around. The second time around, I read books, blogs, talked to friends, took a class and used the lactation consultant as often as she was available at the hospital. What I learned was that the advice a nurse had given me while nursing my first baby was totally wrong. In fact, it was probably the biggest reason why it just never worked for us. Moral of the story: be prepared and don't be afraid to ask for help. Modesty should never have priority over the health and well-being of your little one. With my first baby, we were done breastfeeding at 6 weeks.
12) Breastfeeding can be relatively easy and painless. The first time around was awful for me. I was sore, terribly engorged and miserable. The second time around, with the help of a lactation consultant, we got the latch right during the second feeding and never looked back. Proper latch is the biggest battle you fight in warding off pain and other problems. Without the lactation consultant, though, our latch was totally wrong--even though I'd read and researched. It's important to make sure you have a good, strong latch from the beginning.
13) Putting baby to breast as soon as possible after birth is a great jump-start to breastfeeding and to your mommy-baby bond. You've probably heard that, but I want to emphasize it. I know you're excited to show off your little one. You want to call the people from the waiting room back to see him or her as soon as possible. I know I did. I barely waited the first time. I let Kate try to latch and she weakly attempted to nurse for a short amount of time. I rushed her off, partially because there was a nurse in the room and I didn't want her to watch and partially so we could usher in our company. I regret it to this day. With Jack, I took my time. He nursed for almost forty minutes and I took the time to enjoy snuggling him all by myself. I'd earned that time to myself with him! I can't help but think that some of our nursing issues with Kate weren't because of those first few moments after birth. Take your time--the visitors can wait!
14) If you're having latch issues and a nurse or lactation consultant (LC) recommends a nipple shield, make sure you don't come to rely on it. It's meant to be a short term tool to help baby learn to nurse--like a trainer. While using one, however, nursing is not as efficient or stimulating as it is without the shield. I've read in multiple places that you need to pump after using a shield every time to maintain proper stimulation and ensure that your milk supply will be well established.
15) During growth spurts, which happen VERY frequently in a newborn, baby may want to cluster feed. You've heard this, I'm sure. What this actually translates to, however, is that baby may literally want to nurse non-stop for hours at a time. It sounds terrible. I didn't realize this the first time around and it was a very frustrating thing. The second time around, I was prepared for it. I was able to have things around to me to keep me entertained during these times and was able to think of it as a time where I could sit and rest. I found it much less frustrating when I knew it was coming.
16) Sometimes it's difficult to keep baby awake for a full feeding. In the day time, noise and light are usually enough to keep this from being too much of an issue. At night, however, this can be a problem. Baby wakes up, barely eats and falls back asleep. Baby wakes up an hour later hungry and the process repeats. You really suffer because baby wakes up just about the time you fall asleep. And, if a baby gets into this habit, it's a feeding pattern that can continue. While you don't want to overstimulate your baby during the night and keep her from sleeping, you do want her to eat and have a full belly. Some recommendations I've heard are things like tickling baby's feet, unswaddling the baby or unbuttoning baby's clothes. I've tried them all. I would also recommend feeding baby as long as she will eat on one breast, changing baby's diaper and then offering the second breast. A diaper change is usually stimulating enough to rouse the baby for a little more food.
17) Sometimes it's difficult to keep yourself awake in the middle of the night for a feeding. Do whatever you need to do to keep the baby safe during this time. If you're sitting up, feeding baby in bed and you fall asleep, baby could easily fall out of the bed. Just something to think about! The night's when I had the most trouble, I made my husband help keep me awake or keep the baby for a few minutes while I got up and used the restroom (and woke up).
18) A breastfeeding pillow isn't necessary, but they are very helpful. Other pillows can be used for the same purpose, however, if you don't want to buy one or aren't sure if you'll use it. Most of the time I just used throw pillows from my couch. I do love the other things you can do with the Boppy pillow, though. It's a great stabilizing and protecting-from-falls pillow when baby is learning to sit-up.
19) It is okay to nurse in public. I don't do it often because Jack is squirmy and it's impossible to be as modest as I want to be, but it can be done. If you're not comfortable nursing in public, that's fine, too. It can be done very discreetly, where few people will actually know what's going on. A well made nursing cover is great for this, because it has a strap to keep it in place and is made so you can still see baby while he nurses. Other people are content to nurse in public and aren't so concerned about the whole world seeing their exposed body parts. I'm not one of those people. If you're looking for a nursing cover, check out this website with lots of super cute hand-sewn baby options like covers, cloth diapers and bibs.
20) If you're planning to breastfeed, but want the freedom to go to dinner with your hubby or be out of the house alone for more than a couple hours, you need to teach baby to use a bottle early on. If you wait too long, baby may very likely refuse the bottle. If you do it too soon, you may have nipple confusion issues. My LC recommended giving baby a bottle of breast milk, once breastfeeding was well-established, between weeks 4 and 6. I started Jack with one every day or so at week 5, and he did just fine. Once he got used to it, it wasn't a big deal and he only used them if I was gone. Having the flexibility is very, very nice. I've had friends with babies that refused bottles and they were never able to leave them alone for any length of time. Starting baby on a bottle is especially important if you're going to be returning to work and still hoping to breastfeed. If you're hoping to pump and have milk to give in a bottle, pumping after the baby's first feed of the day works well. You'll also want to pump around the time baby takes the bottle of breast milk so you don't run the risk of lessening your milk supply.
Look for Part 3 on Tuesday! Hope you have a blessed weekend!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The Things They Don't Tell You About Caring for an Infant, Part 1
If you don't know anything about me, you should know a few things before reading this series. First of all, I'm a mommy to two beautiful kids. Kate, my daughter, is two and a half going on 25. She has an enormous vocabulary, a sense of sarcasm, enough charm to make you wanna do anything for her, and a tender heart. Jackson, my son, is 7 1/2 months. He's a little bundle of energy who is currently getting into everything. He crawling, standing and cruising. He's still nursing strong, but is an avid lover of food--especially when he can feed himself. It won't be long and he'll be fully mobile. Between them and my days spent working in a daycare, I feel like I've gained a pretty good perspective on infants and toddlers. Not one baby is like another and my two are perfect examples of that. Hopefully, the advice and insight that I can share with you will be information that will be helpful in your own journey into parenting! And now....the first ten, which deal with the early days with a newborn:
1) Especially with your first child, you will probably feel like the world's worst mother on a daily basis. Don't let the self-doubt get to you. If you're a praying Momma, take a moment in the middle of the stress for a prayer time-out. It can definitely change your perspective.
2) You're not supposed to magically know everything about caring for a baby just because you were able to deliver or adopt one. Some things may come naturally, others not so much. That's why you have friends, parents, doctors and other books to rely on when you don't know what to do.
3) Reading child care books are great; if you read more than one, though, you will realize that one book will tell you one way and another will literally tell you the opposite. Do your research and do what feels right to you.
4) The first time you give your baby a bath, you'll probably feel pretty unsure of what to do. The goal is to keep the baby warm and keep the umbilical cord and circumcision dry. It's really more of a sponge bath than anything, since they can't really be immersed. Don't worry about whether or not you're doing it the right way. You'll get your routine down quickly enough!
5) Dealing with a circumcision isn't difficult, but it is something to think about in advance. This was one of the first things I thought about when we found out we were having a boy. The good news is that it heals very quickly. The bandage will have to be changed, though, several times. The hospital will most likely provide you with everything you need, but having extra vasaline on hand won't hurt. It will be difficult for you to want to do this, since it does hurt and your baby will cry, but it doesn't last long!
6) To change a diaper efficiently with little mess, it's very helpful to get out a new diaper and unfold it and get out a few wipes before removing the soiled diaper. This makes the whole process move a little faster so you have less chance of getting peed on. It also eliminates the chance of you getting the dirty diaper off the baby before realizing that you're out of diapers. Been there, done that.
7) Both girls and boys might go to the bathroom during a diaper change. Some babies seem to do this all the time, others not so much. During our first night at home with Jack, I had an awful experience with this. I was changing him on the bed in the middle of the night. The TV was on for light, but I was only half awake. At the precise moment when I removed the dirty diaper and slid the new one under his tush, he pooped. It went everywhere. All over my stomach, all over the bed, all over the new diaper. It was a fun night. On the other hand, he was 6 months old before he peed on me.
8) If you're in desperate need of rest and baby won't nap for long periods, try holding the baby or laying down with her. I'm not a huge advocate of co-sleeping, but I've found sleeping like this usually encourages baby to sleep longer. If you're not comfortable sleeping with baby, call in reinforcements. There are plenty of willing arms to hold your baby so you can get some rest!
9) It will feel exhausting, but nurse as often as baby wants to (and then some!) in the first few weeks. This will help the milk come in and establish a strong supply. The strong supply ensures there is plenty for baby to eat so that he can get
as much as he needs in each feeding, and, eventually, eat less often. It's more important to establish milk supply and survive the first few weeks than it is to establish a routine.10) No offense to the grandmothers out there, but things do change. What our mothers did with us is not what doctors recommend today. Research and medicine has come a long way and we know more now than ever about things. Mom may have good advice, but science speaks for itself.
Still pregnant or hoping to be? Check out this series about pregnancy!
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